Clay Aiken Speaks Out About Rumors
Clay Aiken is no longer the charmingly awkward, self-confessed “dork” who came in second on 2003’s second season of American Idol. He has a new look, a new album – A Thousand Different Ways, which hit stores Tuesday – and some new, hard-won wisdom.”I learned this year that you can’t make people like you or care about you or love you,” the 27-year-old, Southern Baptist-bred singer, whose 2003 debut album Measure of a Man sold 2.6 million copies.
“I’m becoming a man, not just with my hair,” he says, laughing about his darker, longer ‘do, “but with my life. This year’s been an education: the education of Clay.”
On whether he’s gay: “What do you say (to that question)? … It’s like when I was 8. I remember something would get broken in the house, and Mom and Dad would call me in and say, ‘Did you do this?’ Well, it didn’t matter what I said. The only thing they would believe was yes. … People are going to believe what they want.”
On the panic attacks he suffered after Idol: “I’d walk into a room and say to myself, ‘I am not going to have a problem when these people stare at me.’ … But then (in) that situation, my heart would start pumping, and I’d start sweating and looking around nervously and shaking. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack.”
On taking the anti-anxiety drug Paxil: “I said (to my doctor), ‘Listen, I don’t want to go to a therapist. I have nothing against therapists. I want to think I can do this on my own.’ And she recommended that I try a medication. … Now I can sit here; I can go into a store; I can handle a photo shoot. I’m able to get rid of all that stuff in the periphery. It makes everything easier.”
On the future: “I want to be a father so badly. I want (kids) one day. Not now. … I would love to adopt. There’s an orphanage not too far from my house, and I’ve been up before with church. I always thought, ‘What happens to those kids who have the potential to go to college but just can’t afford it?’ I’ve been thinking a lot lately about finding a way to pay for one of those kids to go to college.”