When it comes to her rules for leading a successful family life, Jada Pinkett Smith has learned to keep quiet about any bumps in the road with husband Will Smith, and to be open-mined and candid with her kids.

“I don’t talk to anyone about my problems with my husband,” the Reign Over Me actress, 35, tells Redbook for its April issue.

Not that there is a lack of communication between the two of them. “The ritual Will and I have is to talk about everything,” says Pinkett Smith.

She just doesn’t care to share their secrets with others. “You can’t expect people to understand your relationship,” she says. “My girlfriends always say, ‘You never complain or talk about your marriage.’ But it’s just not what I do.”

By contrast, when it comes to her children – 6-year-old Willow, 8-year-old Jaden, and 14-year-old Trey, who is Will’s son from a previous marriage – “They share everything with me.”

That’s because, she says, “I treat my children like little people, not like kids. I don’t dictate what they should and should not do … that’s why we have that trust.”