Ben Affleck has come a long way in the nearly 10 years since he and Matt Damon won an Academy Award with their mothers by their sides. He’s had more flops than blockbusters, a high-profile romance with Jennifer Lopez, and a daughter Violet, nearly 2, with his wife, actress Jennifer Garner. Now Affleck is staking his entire career on his new film Gone Baby Gone, a career that he now admits was sidelined by bad script choices and his dalliance with Lopez.

In a revealing new interview in the November issue of Details magazine, the 35-year-old actor discusses his directorial debut, leaving Los Angeles, and how his life has evolved since Good Will Hunting came out in 1997. One thing that hasn’t changed? The mama’s boy’s polite, downhome nature. Ever the gentleman, Affleck showed up to the interview despite a wicked cough and even had a good excuse for showing up late — his German Shepherd got into a container of Metamucil and sprayed diarrhea all over the house. “There’s no way Jennifer [Garner] was going to clean that up by herself,” he joked.

See more highlights from the interview below…

On dating Jennifer Lopez:
“It was probably bad for my career. What happens is this sort of bleed-over from the tabloids across your movie work. You go to a movie, you only go once. But the tabloids and Internet are everywhere. You can really subsume the public image of somebody. I ended up in an unfortunate crosshair position where I was in a relationship and [the media] mostly lied and inflated a bunch of salacious stuff for the sake of selling magazines. And I paid a certain price for that. Then, in concert with some movies that didn’t work…”

On Gone Baby Gone:
“I feel like (Gone Baby Gone) is the linchpin for my life. My career. I have a lot riding on it. I want [the film] to work. Badly. I mean, a shitty movie comes out on 2,800 screens? I’ve been there and it’s embarrassing.”

On why he likes directing:
“That’s why there’s something really great about directing-about having authorship over something. If you don’t like this movie, I’m the guy to see. I’m the guy to criticize. I take some measure of comfort in that. It’s fair, at least.”

On his directorial debut:
“Listen, I’ve gone out and directed a movie and made it really f—king good. If the movie’s good, people will like it and go see it. All the rest of it is bullshit.”

On what’s at stake with his new film:
“It’s pretty simple. If people don’t go see it – I’m f—ked.”

On his decision to direct:
“I guess I just thought, I’ve seen it done enough. I’ve been on the sets enough. I’m a writer. An amateur photographer. An actor. I guess I just thought the sum of these parts would come together and I’d be able to do it.”

On living in L.A.:
“I’d be surprised if I’m still living here in a couple of years. Professionally it would be difficult. But that’s not as important as that other thing.”